How to (not) party like a rockstar

A couple of weeks ago, Jay and I went on our annual pilgrimage to our own little Mecca, otherwise known as Vegas.

My favorite activity while we’re down there is to lounge by the pool, baking in the 110 degree sun.

A close second would be poker.  Texas Hold ‘Em, to be exact.  We played quite a bit before we had the kids but, obviously, don’t have the occasion to do much of that nowadays.  So, when we’re in Vegas, we definitely get our fill of Hold ‘Em.

One morning, after I had sufficiently roasted by the poolside, we decided to hit the tables a little earlier than usual and play poker in an afternoon tournament.

Enter Mistake #1.  As the tournament director yelled “Shuffle up and deal” (which is a fancy way of saying, “Let’s get this ball rolling!”), I answered back with a huge yawn.  I was baked (sunwise, that is), and I realized too late that instead of sitting down for hours of poker, what I desperately needed was a nap.

The grizzled old player in the seat next to me noticed my near-narcolepsy (which, as you can imagine, is kind of a faux pas in poker), and gestured towards the drink the cocktail waitress had just brought him. 

“Rockstar,” he said.  “You should try it.”

And so I ordered one.  Even though I had never tried an energy drink before. 

Enter Mistake #2.

After that first sip, I was hooked.  It tasted fruity, refreshing and zingy.  I might even describe it as effervescent.

I was instantly awake.  And wired like you wouldn’t believe.

Fast forward four hours, two measly potty breaks (tournament schedules were not designed for women who have been pregnant), and three additional  Mistakes (aka Rockstars) later.  Somehow, I’ve miraculously found myself playing one-on-one at the final table.

I don’t remember the final few hands, or how I won the tournament.  To be honest, I was too amped up on my new favorite beverage to concentrate much on what cards I held.  I’d like to think it was my stellar playing that drove me to victory.  According to bystanders (aka my husband), it was more likely my effervescent personality nonstop, 100 mph chatter that drove the other player from the table.

And, as the laws of physics dictate, what goes up… must come down.  I spent the entire next day of our vacation feeling like a miserable wretch.  I didn’t know it was possible to O.D. on Rockstar, but I’m quite sure I did.  The next day, I was the antithesis of effervescent:  deflated, flat, and very un-zingy.

But… the moral of this story?  If you see me drinking this at a poker table:

Be forewarned that I might end up looking like this:

And I will probably beat you.

Either that, or I will talk you into submission.

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16 thoughts on “How to (not) party like a rockstar”

  1. Wow! Did I read correctly? You won? Party on, Rockstar. Who cares how wired you were….Oh wait. As a Woman of a Certain Age, I do recall that we're all Not As Young As We Used to Be (or Think We Are)…so Day 2 must have really sucked. Sorry for your troubles.I will stay clear of that beverage, and stick to Whiskey Sours, which can do their own kind of hellish damage.(Thanks for stopping by CS,D!)

  2. I can't believe you drank so many of those!!! That stuff scares me! But hey – lucky charm, right? 🙂

  3. I can't believe you pounded down that many! I have drank one or two, and was bouncing off the walls!I need to come play poker with you – I know you could teach me a lot! Congrats on the win!

  4. those energy drinks just make me sleepy and give me a headache probably from all the sugar and yellow #7 🙂 but if helps you win then go for it!Btw I left an award for you at my blog because I really enjoy what you do.have a great one.

  5. Wow, you rock…I mean Rockstar! I've never tried one, but now I'm afraid to….I might drive the family insane. But maybe I could get more done?? Hmmmm…..congrats on your win, and nice use of the WOW!

  6. Wow, rockstar in more ways than one! I had my first RedBull 2 years ago in Vegas. It was so much more yummy than I expected!!!!

  7. Congrats on winning! Dare I ask how much you won in the tournament? Just curious – I love Hold 'em and would love to play in Vegas one day!

  8. Congrats! I think I won a couple bucks on the quarter slots once! Didn't pound down a single Rockstar! Whoho–yah!

  9. and that last —word has to be read, out loud, with a southern drawl.

  10. This story cracked me up! I've heard Rockstar is good, but I think it would be bad if I tried it. Awesome that you won.

  11. Congratulations on being made!! That whole wired-for-days thing probably seems worth it now, huh? (Or maybe not…)

  12. Congrats on both wins!!! So glad I wasn't drinking anything when I read this, for surely it would have been spat on the monitor as I got to the crazy eye picture — so funny!! Rock on!

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