It sucks being a cat in this house

Dear Ex-Best Friend,

Remember me?

That’s right, I’m still around.  I know you’ve completely forgotten about me now that the monsteys have arrived.  But I still exist.  I’m a cat.  With real feelings.

Remember how you used to spend hours sitting on the floor and watching me play?  How you used to bring me toys?  How my litterbox actually got changed every week?  Those were the good old days.

I used to be your BFF.  I was your first baby.

Before they came along, that is.  I remember when your belly started growing insanely huge, and all of the sudden, I didn’t fit on your lap any more.  And then one day, you came home with it.  It’s all been downhill from there.

Now?  Seriously, the only time I get any attention around here is when I yack up a hairball or do something else naughty.

And my name?  What’s up with that, anyway?  Do you even know how confusing it is to hear your name called from the other room, and to run in there eagerly, only to find out it’s dad, watching ESPN again?  I’ve come to really despise Stuart Scott.

Or when you shout “Booyah!” after you discover a hairball.  It’s hard to tell whether it’s a good or a bad thing.  I’m thinking it’s good, which is why I continue to leave you presents around the house.

And so the cycle continues.  I give, give, give; you yell.

Clearly, this is a one-sided relationship.

The only thing good about my day is when you drop them off at school, and settle down in the office to work.  Then, the lap is once again mine.  That, and the fact that you share your Bud Light with me.  Maybe you do give… a little.

Even if you don’t give me attention any more, at least they do.  It’s not always the good kind, but I’ll take anything I can get at this point.

For the record, though:

This is a ride.
This is also a ride.
And sometimes, this is a ride.

But please remind the monsteys that my name is not “Ride.”  Nor do I give them.  My name is Booyah.  But my real friends call me Boo.

Sincerely,
Booyah (your ex-best friend)

Mama's Losin' It
#2.  I miss the friend you used to be.

21 thoughts on “It sucks being a cat in this house”

  1. Booyah has some friends over here in the Pearl. More and more naughty things keep happening over here on the couch, on the chairs, on my bed, in Elliot's crib, maybe our cats need a play group.

  2. Man, Booyah looks like OUR first baby Marty! Marty was a happy little kitty, until we brought home that first kiddo….and then the second…and well, you know how that goes.

  3. I loved this, it was incredibly creative. I'm not much of a cat person, but I actually felt bad for poor Booyah! Thank you for sharing this with all of us!

  4. Our cat has figured out that she's lost Most Favored Critter status when the grandkids come to visit.She hissed one time at the 2 year old…then, seeing the negative reaction she got, she slunk (slunk? slinked?) off to her room, opened up a couple of dresser drawers, and climbed behind them to hide until the coast was clear.She'll be hiding again on Saturday, when the whole gang gathers for Grandpa's birthday.

  5. We love a goof cardboard box ride around here too. We're starting to need a really big box though and that makes me sad.

  6. I think my dog feels the same way. I feel bad, but gosh does his breath stink… and he licks… everything. And that is irritating. And I don't have the time or patience to walk with him with a baby in my arms in 100 degree weather to watch him poo… and it's hard to pick it up when I am carrying a toddler….Need I do on?

  7. Hysterical! Our dog has so become low man on the totem pole in the last 7 years. I ignore her so much I don't even consider myself a dog person anymore.

  8. I'm thinking of Booyah right now as my girls chase around our biggest (male) cat, trying to put Build-A-Bear clothing on him.He's only one and never knew life without kids, but still…that's gotta do something to a man's dignity.

  9. Huh. I got a similar note from my bulldog Jake, who's now at the Great Dog Park in the Sky….minus the hairball references, of course.But most everything else was similar! 🙂

  10. OK, now that's just too dang cute! I could write a similar letter from my dogs. They practically launch themselves at visitors in an attempt to be the ones to get the attention rather than those pesky kids. It's hilarious sometimes. Poor, neglected puppy dogs.

  11. Hahahahahhahahaha! Seriously, poor Booyah! I don't even like animals (because I'm allergic to every last living one of them) but I still feel sorry for the cat.

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